Sometimes, it can be difficult for a family to find unity. Being married can be a challenge of its own, and adding kids to the mix can further complicate things. Maybe you and your partner have just started a family of your own, or perhaps you are a blended family, bringing stepchildren into the relationship. This can make things even more complicated, as oftentimes people are quite set in their ways and have to adjust to the new family dynamic. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to ensure that your family lives harmoniously. This can be done with little fighting or conflict. The first important step is for the two parents to be on the same page. Nothing will fall into rhythm until the two of you have decided to function as one. Here are some ways you can achieve that.
Communication
The first step to you and your spouse functioning well as a unit is for the two of you to learn how to communicate. In fact, the entire family should be good at communicating with one another. This might be through a family meeting once a week where everyone shares their schedules as well as their concerns. Perhaps you have a group chat going on your phones where you can always let everyone in the family know what's going on. Communicating changes in schedules and plans can help prevent others from feeling left out or frustrated. This also applies to things like discipline, chores, and expectations. Everyone in the family should be aware of how the family runs. This starts with the two parents communicating with each other and getting on the same page in this regard.
Listen
There are bound to be times when one of you is feeling unhappy. When this happens, make sure you hear each other out. After all, communication is paramount. Even if the complaint seems irrelevant or silly to you, you should do what you can to show that you are truly listening:
- Go in a private room so you can discuss the issue one-on-one.
- Put your phone down and avoid other distractions.
- Maintain eye contact.
- Let the person finish before responding.
Hopefully, this will make it easy for most conflict to be resolved.
Compromise
The fact is, you and your spouse probably aren't going to agree on everything. This may include decisions on finances, discipline, or roles in the household. It's important that you compromise instead of fighting over these things. Maybe one of you is used to letting the children stay up as late as they want, while the other wants a strict bedtime enforced. Figure out together what's going to work best for your family. Decide this when the kids aren't around to avoid extra pressure or influence.
Routines
It may sound mundane, but having a daily routine is something that will make almost anyone's family run more smoothly. It doesn't mean you have a plan for every second of every day but simply that you have a certain way of doing things. Morning and evening routines can be particularly helpful. This is when you should get chores done, get ready for the day, and make sure everything is taken care of for the next day. When there are routines, everyone knows what to expect, which can lead to less stress. You may be surprised how much better you feel when you know what to expect.
It can seem challenging to make a family function well as a whole, but it likely isn't as difficult as you expect. While every family has its own set of unique challenges, many of them can be resolved through communication, compromise, and knowing what to expect (through routines). Put some of these ideas into action and see how they can help your family.
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