The decision to live with your significant other is a big one for your relationship. After dating and traveling endlessly to one another’s homes, the convenience of living in the same space can be an exciting motivator. Of course, you likely know that there are going to be some growing pains at first. Living with someone means compromising and adapting to each other’s routines and idiosyncrasies. Failing to work on this from the start can lead to lasting resentment or serious troubles for your relationship down the line.
While moving into your first place with your partner is akin to being a test of your strength as a unit, it doesn’t need to be a difficult period. Look over these tips to discover the secrets to successful cohabitation.
Privacy Doesn’t Really Exist
Everyone is entitled to his or her privacy. While couples might share a lot, there are bound to be a few stories or details that aren’t divulged. Still, a person’s privacy changes dramatically after moving in with a partner. This isn’t the same as having a roommate, where you have your own space to recharge and work through problems. You’ll be sharing all available space with your significant other moving forward and will likely only have guaranteed privacy in the bathroom. Though this can sound scary, it really is easy to manage when you accept this shift.
Entering into cohabitation and remaining ignorant of the changes that need to happen is an easy way to feel annoyed by and sour the living arrangement. Expecting your routine to carry on as usual will make you feel as if your partner is constantly breathing down your neck. Conversely, understanding the importance of accommodating another person’s presence in a shared space makes it a lot easier to tackle the challenge together.
Complement, Don’t Control
Personalities are funny. Some people have quieter dispositions, while others move through life like steamrollers. While this rich diversity keeps life interesting, specific personality types can lead to tension in a shared living space. More often than not, one person will wrest for control over how the home looks. Though the other person may not speak out, he or she is likely to resent this lack of control on some level. Instead, a better way to approach your shared space is by complementing one another’s routines and personal styles.
Just because you dislike the art your partner owns doesn’t mean you get to nix his or her desire to hang it in your home. Work together to learn how you can blend your styles together to create an environment you both feel equally comfortable living in. The more you put in effort to make the space feel like an actual home for each of you, the nicer it will be to share in the ups and downs that living together can bring.
Ask and Receive
As you begin to fall into a routine with your new arrangement, you’ll notice a lot of your time is spent together in silence. Whether you’re both scrolling through your phones or engaged in private pursuits, being in a comfortable and quiet space together can be a nice perk of domestic life. Still, it has its downsides. You need to remember to have conversations now and again, especially when something is bothering you. It is easier to make a request from your partner and discuss solutions than it is to silently assume your significant other knows what your needs are.
Moving in together can be a big step in a relationship, but there’s no rule saying it needs to be a terrible experience. Accepting the big changes this new stage of your life will bring is key to making cohabitation an exciting and fulfilling part of the story of your relationship.
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