Many people have big plans for the day they get married. They know how they want the ceremony to go and who they want to ask to be their attendants. There's nothing wrong with preferring a private ceremony that includes just you, your partner, the minister, and a witness, though.
Maybe you consider the promises you are making each other to be too intimate to share in front of a crowd. Perhaps your preference is a practical way to save the money you would have spent on a huge ceremony for things that are more important to you as you start your life together.
Whatever your reason, some of your family or friends may be disappointed that you are not having a traditional wedding. Here are some tips for breaking the news that you have decided to elope as gently as possible.
Choose the Right Time
Ideally, those who know you best and love you most will respect your right to make the decision that works best for you when it comes to your wedding. Keep in mind, however, that they may have been looking forward to being there when you say your vows. The news that you are eloping may come as a shock, so their first reaction may not be the best reflection of their love for you. Anticipating their responses can help you decide whether you want to tell them before or after you elope.
Close loved ones with whom you have healthy relationships will probably appreciate knowing that you are eloping before you tie the knot. That way, they can share in your anticipation and excitement, which may help them feel like they're not missing out. You may want to wait until after you are married to tell those who are likely to take the news as a personal affront, though. If their feelings are going to be hurt anyway, there's no reason to let the memory of their poor reactions color what should be a joyous occasion for you and your partner.
Pick a Good Environment
How you tell your loved ones you're eloping is just as important as when you tell them. Shooting them a group text as you're getting on the plane will probably not go over well with even the most understanding friends. The more you treat the conversation like it matters to you, the more likely they are to feel loved and honored during it.
Your home or some other place that holds special meaning for you is probably the best setting for sharing your plans. Have your dearest friends and family over for dinner one night. Thank them for their support, and tell them how much they mean to you as a couple. Tell them you are eloping, and give them a chance to ask questions. Give them the space they may need to process the information and celebrate with you.
Explain Your Reasons
You may not feel as if you owe anyone an explanation of why you have decided to elope. While that is certainly true, it is still a good idea to share the thought process behind the decision with those who care the most about you. While they probably already know that your choice to elope isn't meant to ignore their wishes, it will probably still feel good to them to hear you say it. If nothing else, it gives you a chance to show them they are important enough to you to keep them informed about the details of your life.
Telling your closest friends and family that you are going to elope can be tricky. With a little thoughtfulness and kindness, however, you can turn the conversation into a reminder of how lucky you feel to know them.
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