After months of planning, spending money, and a few ups and downs, you’ve successfully tied the knot. After the big day is over, you jet off to your honeymoon and enjoy a well-deserved vacay. You return from your romantic excursion and face your next Herculean task: writing all those thank-you notes. Your hand cramps merely thinking about it, and you’ll probably encounter a few snags along the way. How do you deal with these problems, compose great-sounding language, and ship off your notes? Keep reading for some useful advice.
1. You’re a Perennial Procrastinator
You’ve got those piles of thank-you notes to write, but you’ve got plenty of time. After all, you’ve got up to a year to send them off, right? Wrong! Zola’s Kate Lynn Nemett debunks this common myth: You only have three months after your wedding to write and send your notes.
The Thank You Diva lists two things that stand in the way of completing thank-you notes: perfectionism and procrastination. The two are closely tied together, by the way, with anxiety fueling both behaviors. Thrive Global describes it as a vicious cycle, with perfectionistic drives leading to anxiety, which in turn causes procrastination to temporarily relieve the anxiety. Instead, discern whether you’re expecting to create perfect thank-you notes and why, then target whatever’s causing your anxiety.
2. You Have Sloppy Handwriting
Do you have bad handwriting? Struggles with penmanship can result from some types of disabilities, motor coordination issues, lack of practice, or even genetics. As you craft your notes, remember that your writing doesn’t have to look graceful, artistic, or pretty: It just needs to be legible. Take your time writing, and try printing instead of using cursive. The Knot’s Lauren Kay also recommends writing your notes in batches and dividing the labor between you and your spouse.
3. You Don’t Know What To Say
Worried about saying just the right thing? That’s not unusual, but it’s easier to overcome this obstacle than you may think. You don’t have to possess Maya Angelou’s linguistic prowess to craft a heartfelt and well-worded note. You can use many of the excellent wording examples online to inspire your own writing: A Practical Wedding, Brides, Zola, and The Knot. The Thank You Diva suggests composing drafts for each style of note you need, then setting them aside for a day or two. When you reread it, look for obvious spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Once you’ve fine-tuned your notes, you can start writing with confidence.
4. You’re Not Thrilled About a Gift
At some point, we all get gifts that we don’t like or need. Maybe it’s an ugly sweater – and not the fun and hip type of ugly holiday sweater. Perhaps you’re a vegetarian, but you end up with a set of steak knives. You’ve already got two food processors, but a well-meaning relative gifts you with yet another.
Writing thank-you notes for unwanted gifts can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. The Spruce’s Debby Mayne offers some great suggestions. You should mention the gift at least once, she says, and then emphasize another aspect of the occasion. You could thank the giver for celebrating with you, as you can see from her wording examples.
Your Stress-Free Thank-You Notes
None of this is to say that writing thank-you notes won’t take a little work. However, it’s not as intimidating as it may seem. Don’t worry about crossing every “t” and dotting every “i.” Instead, look at the bigger picture. Knowing what you want to say, breaking up the task into smaller sessions, and giving yourself enough time to finish are all useful steps when penning thank-you notes. Not only will you feel relief when you’re done, but your loved ones will know that you appreciate them.
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