According to many estimates, between 13 and 20 percent of engaged couples break off their nuptial plans before the big day. Common reasons for wedding cancelation include illness, military deployment, the deaths of family members, or lack of available funds. On the other hand, other situations involve delicate matters of the heart. Incompatibility, drastically different life goals and values, commitment issues, breaches of trust, or more serious issues sometimes give couples enough reason to reevaluate their decision to tie the knot. Whatever your reasons, your approach for handling the aftermath should focus on both practical issues and personal healing.
Informing Your Friends and Family
If you decide to go through with the wedding cancelation and completely abandon your marriage plans or put them on hold, your first order of business is notifying your family and wedding party. An April 2016 Brides article stresses the importance of honesty. After all, you may need their help to spread the word, especially if you haven’t formally sent out announcements. At the same time, The Spruce’s Nina Callaway recommends sending out printed cards If your original wedding date is already known by your friends and family. These cards need not be elaborate, but they should bear a simple message explaining that your wedding will not take place as planned. Callaway strongly suggests following your cards up with phone calls to ensure that everyone is in the loop.
Dealing With Vendors Logistics
New York Times writer Amy Sohn explains that the 90-day mark is crucial for wedding vendors since many require half of their total fees to be paid at that point. Be aware of your vendors’ cancellation policies and understand that you may not get your entire deposits or payments back. Even so, some professionals may be willing to work with you. They may allow you to select a new event date if you’re simply rescheduling, and Sohn points out that they could permit you to allocate the money you’ve paid for other services.
If you’re not emotionally able to deal with these duties, don’t hesitate to enlist help from someone you trust. Just make sure you’ve gathered together important information such as vendor names, contact information, scheduled appointments, phone numbers, and remaining balances before handing over the reins.
What About the Ring?
Should an engagement ring be returned? The Knot clarifies the answer to this question can vary according to the situation. Heirloom rings should be returned back to their families, and it’s typical practice to return new rings to the parties who purchased them. As for rings that were bought jointly, each couple must decide how to handle their future ownership. Some may opt to return the rings and divide their remaining monetary value equally or keep them and allow each partner to do as he or she wishes.
Take Care of Yourself
In the midst of all these priorities and to-do lists, your mental and emotional health remains paramount. A Practical Wedding’s Eve Sturges discusses how she put the brakes on her nuptial plans. She primarily stresses that leaning on trusted friends and family for support in the aftermath is crucial. Keep in mind that trained counselors, therapists, and clergy can also offer help and advice for navigating this difficult period of your life. Regardless of the support system you choose, it’s important to remember that you need time to process your emotions and work through healing.
Life happens. We make plans, but sometimes unexpected events force us to modify or relinquish those plans. It’s very easy for your emotions to become involved when it comes to your wedding, and it’s only natural to feel disappointed or sorrowful if you must postpone or cancel your event. While you still must deal with the situation, you can benefit from some helpful advice to handle both your logistical and emotional issues.
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