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Uninvited DefinitionBetween a global pandemic and natural disasters related to extreme weather events, it’s safe to say that these are strange times. Despite this, many couples are still choosing to solemnize their unions with formal marriage ceremonies involving family and friends. While current events may affect the particulars of a wedding celebration, some couples are still moving forward with their plans, sending invitations to loved ones near and far. However, for many reasons, you may need to rescind an invitation to the wedding. Here are some things to consider.

Thinking Ahead

Disinviting someone to a wedding is a serious faux pas, and you should have a better reason for doing so besides accidentally inviting too many people. When you’re putting together your guest list, do your due diligence in figuring out how many folks to invite. Venue size, budget and social distancing considerations should be the biggest factors as you finalize plans. Don’t confuse casual friends and acquaintances with your nearest, dearest loved ones.

Disinviting for Reasons Beyond Your Control

The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown a wrench in many planned events for many reasons. Between people testing positive or venues and vendors having to cancel due to a government response to a surge in cases, your situation can quickly change for the worse. What if your backup venue holds fewer people than your main venue, which will be closed on the big day? You’re going to have to make some changes to the guest list quickly. It’s better to notify invitees as soon as possible, especially if they’re making special arrangements to participate. The best approach is to be upfront about why you’re having to disinvite. If it’s due to COVID-19 or a natural disaster, you can’t go wrong framing the conversation in terms of safety and care for others’ health.

Disinviting for Other Reasons

Suppose you have other, more personal reasons to rescind an invitation. Perhaps you had a falling out with an invited guest or two invitees can’t stand each other. Carefully ponder the potential consequences of taking back an invitation. You may not be able to repair a relationship after doing so, and it can possibly create more conflict between you and other people. Before you pull the trigger, consider the following:

  • Sleep on it: Anger and other strong emotions sometimes cause us to make rash decisions. If you have time, think about it. Give yourself a chance to cool down to avoid making a move during the heat of the moment. You may come to regret not having this person around on your special day.
  • Count the cost: Think about the potential impacts, both short term and long term. Will this create a deep rift between you and others? It may not be worth it after all is said and done.
  • Talk it over: Maybe a conversation with the person or persons can keep you from having to withdraw an invitation. Talking through the issue may either resolve the situation or lead to others choosing not to attend the ceremony themselves.

Protecting Your Peace

Ultimately, the special day is about your and your partner’s happiness. If a person’s attendance threatens your sense of peace and joy, then you should definitely disinvite that person. You’re responsible for protecting yourself and doing whatever you can to start this new phase of life on the best foot possible.

Your wedding day marks a major milestone in your life and that of your spouse-to-be. It’s supposed to be a celebration where you’re surrounded by love, laughter and peace. Life is unpredictable, and while you never plan to disinvite a wedding guest, sometimes you have to do what’s necessary. Plan your guest list thoroughly and ponder the consequences before you rescind an invitation.

Category: Wedding Planning

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