Death is not an easy concept to grasp. Though all human beings understand their time on Earth is limited, the sudden loss of a friend or relative can still be shocking and devastating. While there is not one specific way to mourn that is “better” than others, there are strategies that are healthier. If you find yourself feeling lonely or down, there are a handful of coping methods to consider and a few you want to avoid. Explore these suggestions and learn what works best for you during this difficult time.
Don’t Throw Yourself Into Work
In the modern world, work is often conducted around the clock. If you’re employed at a demanding job, you might throw yourself into an even heavier workflow after experiencing the death of someone close to you. This is a common coping mechanism. By staying busy with your job, you are less likely to feel constantly consumed by the loss. Though it might be successful as a temporary solution, this strategy tends to prolong the mourning period because it pushes an individual away from directly facing the situation.
Instead of losing yourself in work, do your best to process your emotions. Though you feel lonely and confused, the only way out of this painful period is through.
Do Reach Out
It is normal to feel isolated and lonely when someone you love passes away. However, it is also normal to withdraw and push people away when you are feeling particularly low or vulnerable. When someone you care about dies, you need to lean on the living in order to properly mourn. Physical comfort like hugs can be the most satisfying, but it might not always be possible to have this kind of contact with people who live far away. Even if you can’t physically be present, it is crucial to connect with friends and family on the phone or internet.
Plenty of people feel alone after someone dies. The best way to remind yourself that you are not is by taking active steps to communicate with the people you love who are still alive and present.
Don’t Live in the Past
Nostalgia can be a very powerful force. When someone passes away, it is normal to take a trip down memory lane. From pulling out old photos to talking about long-forgotten adventures with friends, death has a way of dredging up the past and all of its ups and downs. Though a crucial part of the grieving process, you cannot stay mired in the past. If you find yourself running in circles mentally and beating yourself up over mistakes made long ago, you need to take a step back from the situation.
You cannot change the past; you can only observe it from a distance. Look back and find comfort, but avoid falling into the trap of thinking the past was better or worse than it really was.
Do Push Yourself
When you feel low, you might not push yourself to do anything new. It is easy to find an excuse to stay indoors and away from people when you’re mourning. Unfortunately, this will get worse before it gets better without active focus. Push yourself to try new things and get out of the house while you are grieving. It might be difficult, but feeling alive and connected to the world can be incredibly useful to those who have suffered a loss.
Handling loneliness after the death of someone you care about is no small feat. There will be a struggle, and you might feel ready to give up at times. Find what works for you, and be sure to reach out to others in order to find the healthiest way to move through this difficult period.
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