Planning a funeral is an emotionally charged task. Whether you have been preparing for it or not, executing a funeral can feel extremely overwhelming when you're grieving. While many aspects of this process are widely discussed, there are some things that people don't talk about or forget to mention. Here are five things people don't tell you about funerals.
The Challenges of Organizing a Funeral
You might have noticed that the general public spends a lot more time talking about getting married and having children than they do about dying. Death is a subject that makes most people uncomfortable, and that unfortunately results in the process of organizing a funeral being mysterious and confusing. The core tasks you'll have to get through include:
- Organizing legal documents
- Choosing a funeral home
- Picking an officiant or clergy member
- Finding a venue
- Selecting clothes, the casket, and accessories
- Plan the event, including eulogies and memorial music
This summary touches on only the most vital aspects of planning a funeral, but some other topics rarely come up. Here are five things you should know about funerals that might change your approach.
1. The Body Doesn't Have to Be Present
Traditionally, viewings and open casket ceremonies have been common funeral practices. However, it's essential to know that the presence of the deceased is not a mandatory element.
The idea of an open casket may be too overwhelming for you or the family. In that case, it's entirely acceptable to opt for a closed casket or even forgo the physical presence of the body altogether. Choose an option that aligns with your emotional well-being and the wishes of your loved one.
2. The Costs and Fees Are Negotiable
Funerals can be expensive, and the financial burden can add stress to an already challenging situation. What many people don't realize is that funeral costs are not set in stone. Funeral homes are often willing to negotiate and customize packages based on your budget and preferences.
Compare the costs at multiple institutions before settling on one, and don't hesitate to discuss your financial concerns openly with the funeral director. Explore options that are both meaningful and manageable for you.
3. The Venue Should Feel Comforting
When selecting a venue for the funeral service, prioritize comfort over tradition. It's not uncommon for people to choose somber locations out of a sense of obligation, but the venue should provide solace and support for grieving friends and family. Consider spaces that hold personal significance or places where your loved one felt at ease. Creating an atmosphere of comfort can go a long way in fostering a healing environment during the service.
4. The Flowers Are Optional
While flowers have long been a symbol of sympathy, they are by no means a requirement for a funeral. Whatever costs would have gone into floral arrangements can easily go toward food, drinks, and entertainment for the people who attend the funeral.
If you or your loved one prefers alternative expressions of support, such as charitable donations or personalized gestures, communicate those wishes upfront. Many people appreciate the sentiment behind thoughtful gestures that align with the personality and values of the departed.
5. There Is No One Right Way
Funerals are deeply personal, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people find solace in traditional ceremonies, while others may seek more unconventional ways to celebrate a life. Recognizing that there is no right or wrong way to honor and remember a loved one is essential. Offer yourself and your family grace and kindness during this challenging time.
Knowing that certain aspects of funeral planning are flexible and that there is no rigid formula for a "correct" funeral can provide relief during a tumultuous time. Remember, the key is to create a meaningful and respectful farewell that aligns with your values and honors the memory of your loved one.
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