You want to marry the person you love, but what if the thought of putting on potentially uncomfortable clothes and socializing for several hours isn’t your idea of fun? If you’re terrified to the point of where you’d rather stay at home and hang out with your cat instead, you’re not alone. Fortunately, you don’t have to forgo saying “I do” if you’re an introvert, struggle with anxiety issues, or use a different social interaction style due to being neurodivergent. Some tips for taking charge and planning your affair can help make your day meaningful, memorable and fun.
When Family Wants to Call the Shots
Glamour contributor Kim Fusaro outlines some common difficulties brides face when a parent wants to dictate key aspects of the wedding, but anyone of any gender can run into these conflicts. Even if money isn’t an issue, well-meaning loved ones might campaign hard for their vision of your special day. Nevertheless, you must set your boundaries and be firm. Should you have family members who want to "pay to have their say,” you may have no choice but to foot the bill on your own.
There Is No “Right Way” to Get Married
The “traditional” wedding vision that includes a ballroom, black tie apparel, a huge guest list and a menu with prime rib or roast chicken is not the only way in which you can celebrate. According to New York Times contributor Marialisa Calta, author Carol Wallace reveals in her book “All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of the American Wedding” that many families borrowed these luxurious trappings from upper-class weddings after World War II. Thankfully, you only need a few key elements to get married:
- You and your partner
- A marriage license
- A venue for your ceremony
- An officiant legally sanctioned by your jurisdiction
- The number of witnesses required by your state
Tailor Your Day to Your Tastes and Needs
Huffington Post writer Kelsey Borresen emphasizes that a low-key event may be easier for you to handle. Opt for a smaller guest count, and limit your list to close friends and family. You might also don understated, comfortable attire and look for ways to minimize overwhelming sensory stimuli. Furthermore, you can bypass traditions that toss you into the hot glare of the spotlight such as bouquet tosses, the solo first dance or the customary sweetheart table, as Brides contributor Elizabeth Mitchell explains.
Rely on Your Support System and Take Breaks
Wedding planning itself can be a source of stress, especially if you dread excessive face-to-face interaction or making phone calls. A 2016 Very Well article recommends enlisting the help of friends or your partner, if he or she is more extroverted than you and is comfortable with pitching in. Even hiring a wedding planner to tackle these tasks can be a plus, and it’s also a good idea to confide in your officiant so that he or she can help ease awkwardness or tension during the ceremony. Finally, it’s wise to work in significant chunks of “alone time” the day before and the day after. Don’t forget to include a “first look” during which you and your partner can spend some time alone with each other before you walk down the aisle, and schedule in short breaks throughout the event.
The Perfect Wedding for You
When you announce your engagement, people may chime in with opinions on how to create your reception and ceremony. However, arranging a celebration that you’ll enjoy and be comfortable with is a much better goal than trying to please others. The key to not only surviving but also reveling in your wedding day lies in crafting it to fit your desires, tastes and needs.
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