As you’re about to get married, you’re probably inundated in wedding advice from every direction. You hear well-meaning relatives, friends, and maybe even coworkers opining about everything from your venue and ceremony script down to your apparel and grooming choices. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or annoyed, but what do you do about all those comments? Some smart suggestions may prove to be helpful.
Everybody’s Talking, but Why?
When it comes to subjective opinions, wedding magazines and planning websites are one thing. After all, you’re consulting those sources to find helpful hints, information, and advice. What about all the input from your social circle about what you “should” do? Furthermore, why do they even care? They’re not the ones tying the knot, after all.
The Daily Positive’s Katie Alvarez suggests that people may offer unsolicited advice because they’re excited about your wedding and truly want to help but don’t understand that their comments can make you feel burdened or overwhelmed. On the other hand, Nina Bahadur shared in a March 2017 Brides article that she and her partner received unwanted feedback from friends, family, and acquaintances pushing for more traditional elements in their nuptials. In these cases, they may have a mental image of the “perfect” wedding and are convinced yours will fall short if you deviate from certain norms.
Thankfully, many who make these kinds of comments may only do so once or twice in passing and then drop the subject entirely. Perhaps smiling, nodding, and moving on as Alvarez suggests is an ideal strategy when dealing with these individuals.
Help! They Won’t Leave Me Alone!
Of course, you could encounter people who still offer unwanted advice and viewpoints after you’ve done the smile and nod routine or dismissed them with noncommittal answers. These comments can range from acquaintances, coworkers, or distance relatives with overbearing opinions to family members or friends campaigning for their vision of your wedding day. Fortunately, Alvarez offers some helpful tips to assert yourself while keeping the peace:
- Thank people for their input while sharing your own perspective.
- Inform them that their opinions feel like pressure.
- Change the conversation subject.
- Insist that your wedding plans are a surprise.
Whatever tactics you adopt, Alvarez advises against pressing the issue if they won’t back off. Changing the subject or ending the conversation is preferable to arguing, which can cause you unneeded stress. If you’re feeling gutsy and you need a last resort, you could borrow from this letter written by one A Practical Wedding contributor to the offending parties in her situation.
When Your Inner Circle Tries to Take the Reins
Dealing with pushy opinions can become a delicate matter when you’re fielding comments from your inner circle. It’s especially difficult if you’re not the one footing the entire bill or if a trusted member of your wedding party starts some drama. For those whose weddings are partially funded by their families, compromise may be the ideal solution to ensure both the couple’s and the parents’ ideas are included. In the case of disgruntled wedding party members, Brides writer Jaimie Mackey recommends talking to them to discern the true reasons for their criticism or complaints and collaborating on a solution that works for everyone.
Whether you’ve visualized your dream wedding since you were a teenager, had a few ideas in mind, or didn’t give it much thought until you started planning, unwanted opinions can put a damper on your efforts. Comments about your nuptials from well-meaning or critical parties always have a root cause, so a firm, polite, and diplomatic approach could solve your problems. No matter how you decide to handle the chitchat, you’ll gain the most satisfaction if you stay committed to your wedding day vision.
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