Writing Your Own Vows

When it comes to your wedding day, it may seem like there are a million decisions that need to be made. While there probably aren't quite that many, there are many things you need to decide on. While there are things that don't matter quite as much as flowers, music, and color themes, there is something that is a bit more significant. You and your fiancé need to decide whether you are going to write your wedding vows. There are pros and cons to writing them, and the only way to know which option is right for you is to discuss the idea with your partner and come to a decision together.

Advantages

Of course, writing your own wedding vows makes things more personal. You have a chance to explain how you feel about the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. While the traditional vows are a great way to promise your love for each other, this gives you an opportunity to let your future spouse know how you truly feel and promise that you will be by his or her side for the rest of your life. If you are someone who likes doing things differently, then this might be a great option for you. It isn't terribly common for couples to write their own wedding vows, so if you would like to break free from the mold, then you may consider doing so. Your guests will likely be surprised and would probably enjoy the change of pace from more traditional weddings.

Disadvantages

While writing personalized vows can offer many advantages, there are also some things to consider. For example, if you and your future spouse can't agree on the length or tone, then it may not be the best idea. For example, maybe you are a person who enjoys humor, while your fiancée would prefer something a bit more sentimental. While it can be a good idea to use a little bit of both in your vows, it won't work as well if one is strictly funny when the other one is completely sentimental.

Another thing to consider is whether or not you feel comfortable speaking in public. Your wedding day is likely going to be the best day of your life, so you don't want to spend it incredibly nervous about sharing your inner-feelings toward your partner in front of everyone. If either you or your future spouse feels uncomfortable speaking in public, then perhaps you should skip the personal vows. In addition, think about whether or not you are able to convey your feelings properly in writing. What about your spouse-to-be? Do you both think you will be able to come up with wedding vows that will adequately sum up how you feel about each other?

Compromising

Only you can decide whether writing your own vows is right for you and your partner. If one of you wants personal vows while the other wants traditional, there are a few ways you can compromise:

• Agree to recite traditional vows during the ceremony, but write personal vows for each other to share in private.
• Share your personal vows with your partner in front of the wedding party, but stick with traditional for the wedding.
• Agree to recite personal vows, but help each other write them, and say them to each other beforehand so you aren't as nervous.

Making this decision early on can be helpful, but it isn't important for it to be made right away. If you aren't sure, then agree to let it go for now and discuss it as the wedding day gets closer.