The first year of marriage is an important one. It can set the tone for the years to come, and you want to get through it without any major problems. On the one hand, you are in the honeymoon phase, meaning that everything may seem perfect to you and there's not a thing you would want to change. On the other hand, getting used to sharing a life with someone else can be a challenge, no matter how much you two love each other. This is especially true if you are living together for the first time. You have to get used to all of your spouse's quirks and habits that you may not be a big fan of. Maybe he forgets to put the toilet lid down after using the restroom. Perhaps she doesn't take the trash out and leaves it until it is overflowing. While these things are minor compared to other more serious issues, here are some things you can do to help navigate through that first year of marriage.
Learn to Compromise
No matter what, you are going to have to learn to compromise in some areas. The two of you are different, which means you aren't going to be able to get your way every single time. Perhaps you have a tradition of going out with your friends every Sunday afternoon, but your spouse wants to spend that time together. Now that you are married, you may need to change your ways a little bit. Maybe you prefer to save all the big chores for the weekend, while your spouse wants to do a little bit each day. These are just a couple of the many ways you may have to compromise; the list goes on and on. Still, you shouldn't be the only one who compromises. Your spouse needs to see that you are sacrificing some things, so he or she should be willing to change and compromise on some things as well.
Don't Go to Bed Angry
You have probably heard the expression "do not let the sun go down on your anger." Basically what this means is to not go to bed angry. This is great advice for any marriage. The truth is, the two of you are going to disagree on things. There will be times when you are in the middle of a conflict. There's no avoiding it. What's important is how you handle these moments. The two of you should make sure things are resolved before you go to bed that night. This keeps things from festering and escalating to a new level, and this ensures everything gets resolved.
Don't Say "The D Word"
It's easy in the heat of the moment to say things we don't mean. However, you should never use the word "divorce" in an argument. The fact is, marriage can be downright difficult at some points. If you give up easily, it's probably not going to work out for you. Make a commitment to never threaten or consider divorce, no matter how bad things seem in the moment.
Of course, there are some times when divorce should be considered. This includes things like:
- One spouse is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive to the other.
- There is infidelity in the marriage, especially if the cheating continues.
- One spouse becomes addicted to a substance and, despite your many attempts to get the person help, won't give it up.
These ideas can help make the first year of marriage go more smoothly. In fact, the list can be a good set of rules to keep around for your entire marriage. It can ensure that your fights don't escalate into something more and that the two of you can live together in harmony.
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