A famous person once sang, “Now that we’ve found love, what are we going to do with it?” For many people, it means that marriage is likely an outcome sooner or later. But before you can embark on a life of wedded bliss, a proposal comes first. Asking someone to spend forever with you isn’t like asking a favor or a hypothetical question. Many happily married people hold the proposal in just as high regard as the actual wedding day. Are you ready to pop the question? Consider these tips first.
Is Marriage a Shared Goal?
The last thing you want to do is pursue marriage with someone who doesn’t want to be married. When you are talking about your lives together and future plans, it should be clear that the person you’re with not only wants to marry but also wants to marry you. Timeframes matter also. You might be ready to tie the knot in a matter of months, but your partner may be thinking a few years down the line. It’s important that both of you are on the same page when it comes to a formal union and the timeframe. Details such as chicken or fish for your reception protein come later.
Are Your Partner’s Family and Friends on Board?
Although the idea of asking a bride’s parents for permission to marry is outdated and rooted in patriarchy, there’s a lot to be said for having your partner’s people on board. If you’ve been having serious conversations about marriage, you should have some insight on how much involvement there should be from family and friends. A close sibling or best friend can be a wonderful asset when it comes to planning a proposal and offering support for an engagement that will be recollected fondly.
How Will You Find an Engagement Ring?
If you’re the one proposing, you’ll likely want to kick things off by presenting a ring. This universal symbol of marriage-to-be is often a critical factor in how you ask the big question, so you need a strategy for finding out your partner’s ring size and procuring it ahead of time. Depending on your relationship, it might not be too forward to take a look at rings together for some time far off in the future. If you want it to be a surprise, your partner’s loved ones can introduce the idea of looking at rings. Your partner’s taste in jewelry can be a clue as to what he, she or they might want. Some jewelers can provide a good estimate of a ring size based on pictures and knowing your future fiancé’s height and weight.
How Will You Propose?
Now that you’ve figured out the basics, it’s time for the details. Where, when and how will you propose? Wisdom says that how you do a thing matters as much as what you do. A poorly planned and executed proposal may lead to an undesirable outcome. Does your better half love surprises? Are they expecting something public in front of ones who are near or dear? Is a private proposal the better move? This takes the pressure off your partner to say “yes” or “not right now.” Whatever you decide to do, keep in mind that the occasion should be special. Be intentional about asking the question. It is strongly recommended that you don’t piggyback off another special event like another wedding or reception or an event that should be a big moment for your partner like winning an award or successfully defending a thesis.
When it comes to a happy marriage, do whatever you can to get started on the right foot. Happy unions may start legally with a ceremony, but in many people’s minds, the fun starts with a proposal and engagement. Don’t leave things to chance. Plan carefully, accordingly and mindfully to figure out what works best for your partner.
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