Let's face it; marriage is hard. No one makes it through a marriage without having a single conflict or argument. It's unrealistic to expect to have a marriage like this. What happens when your marriage goes beyond the normal arguments and conflicts? Perhaps it seems like you and your spouse can barely stand the sight of each other. While it can be normal to go through ups and downs in your marriage, there are times when a marriage may be on the brink of divorce. About half of marriages end in divorce, so you want to do everything you can to keep your marriage from becoming a statistic. Before you hire a lawyer or file for divorce, here are some things you should try.
Counseling
Many people have a negative association with counseling. It can be difficult to share your struggles and marital problems with a total stranger. However, it has many benefits. Here are a couple things to remember that may ease your mind about seeing a professional:
- Counselors legally cannot share any information with anyone, so everything is completely confidential.
- Helping people save their marriages is the counselor's job, so he or she is not going to judge you for having marital issues.
Seeing a counselor may help you find ways to communicate better, resolve conflict, and prevent things from escalating. A counselor may also help you find the root of the problem. It may be something you and your spouse do not see, and finding the root is often key to resolving marital issues.
Sometimes, individual counseling can help as well. Maybe you have some struggles from something that occurred before you were married that you think is causing issues now. Perhaps the both of you are dealing with baggage and need to find ways to let it go. Individual counseling can often be beneficial when dealing with a potential divorce.
Spend Time Together
Sometimes, it the busyness of life, and you and your spouse no longer have any time for each other. It's only natural to drift apart when you aren't spending any time together. You need to start prioritizing communication and closeness with your spouse. Try to go out on a date at least once a week. This can be something like going out to dinner, or perhaps watching a movie together at home. Hopefully, as you spend time together, you will remember how much you love each other.
The Importance of Intimacy
Intimacy is very important in a marriage. The physical bonding can help bring the two of you closer. Even when you aren't getting along, try to keep the physical intimacy in your marriage. You may find as the two of you connect sexually, everything else is easier to resolve.
Avoid Venting to Your Families
Even when you are dealing with serious marital issues, it's important not to bring your families into it. For one thing, you should try to always speak as positively as you can about your spouse. After all, you would want him or her to do the same for you. Instead of speaking negatively, try to find things you can say that are positive. You never know when your spouse will overhear what you are saying, and you want nothing but positive comments getting back to him or her.
Another reason you should avoid speaking negatively about your spouse to others is because you don't want those things to be held against you if the two of you decide to stay together. Coming to your family every time you are having an issue can lead to your family not liking your spouse, which is the last thing you need when you are trying to work your marriage out.
Oftentimes, a marriage can be resolved by trying these tips. It's important to remember that no marriage is perfect, and it's normal to argue every now and then. Do everything you can to save your marriage, because divorce is a very difficult thing to go through.
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