Ask casual observers to list common Western wedding traditions and you’ll probably hear about two sometimes questionable and embarrassing practices: bouquet and garter tosses. Although they’re customs from a much older era, some couples still opt to include them in their nuptial ceremonies today. If you’re sitting on the fence about whether to toss or not, it might help to know a little about the origins and purposes of both practices.
Did Bouquets Cover Up a Stinky Situation?
It’s a little difficult to untangle the true origins of the bridal bouquet, with some insisting it came from medieval Europe while others point the finger at ancient Rome. Explanations for why brides accessorized with these fragrant flowers also vary. One common conjecture is that the original versions were bundles of herbs to ward off bad luck and even disease during the height of Europe’s bubonic plague epidemics in the 14th century. Over time, brides added more flowers to the basic botanical mix for both their aesthetic and aromatic properties.
Another theory speculates that the blooms masked odors from poor hygiene resulting from the Dark Ages practice of bathing only once per year. Nevertheless, writers and scholars such as Huffington Post’s Tim O’Neill have debunked such ideas. In a 2017 write-up, he revealed that most medieval Europeans bathed at least once a day, either at home or in public bathhouses. Additionally, soap was commonly available, with artisans elevating its manufacture to produce many scented varieties during the 12th and 13th centuries.
Medieval Brides Didn’t Want a Rip-Roaring Time
Many wedding traditions focus on either gaining good luck or preventing misfortune, and the garter toss is no different. However, the roots of this tradition might seem a little cringeworthy. In a June 2017 article, Brides contributor Liz Susong delved into its possible origins, explaining that medieval European brides risked having their gowns ripped by attendees seeking to tear off a piece for good luck. To sidestep the rowdy crowds following them and their grooms to their bedchambers, resourceful women would affix garters to their dresses for drunken guests to grab instead of the hems of their frocks. It was said that in some cases, their new husbands would cast her garter to the raucous male revelers while she pitched her bouquet to the ladies.
Unique Solutions for Modern Weddings
Some soon-to-be-married pairs select fun or sentimental alternatives to both the bouquet and garter tosses. A 2015 Bustle piece runs down some cool possibilities for your floral arrangement:
- Choosing a “breakaway” bouquet that allows guests to each take a piece
- Placing it in an empty vase to honor lost loved ones
- Presenting it to the longest-married couple
Furthermore, some devise unusual stand-ins for tossing garters, such as throwing them during a tasteful choreographed dance number. One couple wrapped theirs around a bottle of spirits and invited single guests to try unlocking it from a random set of keys, as documented in a 2017 Offbeat Bride post.
Consider Your Style and Priorities
In truth, garter and bouquet tosses may be going the way of the dinosaur. Anecdotal evidence from wedding planners suggests that fewer couples are including these customs in their own nuptials. Younger pairs already departing from tradition are rethinking the whole approach to weddings, and many refuse to include details that are too expensive, bow to older gender norms, make their guests feel uncomfortable or do not hold special meaning.
Whatever your ideas and priorities are, you should consider your wedding’s overall vision when selecting practices for inclusion. You and your partner might develop alternatives or completely forgo traditions such as bouquet and garter tosses. At the end of the day, your wisest course is to focus only on elements that reflect your values, styles and personalities.
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