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Couple Thinking About MarriageGetting married is one of the biggest commitments you can make in life. Still, research shows that a vast majority of people around the world tend to get hitched in a hurry. This can be problematic for many reasons. On a biological level, the earliest years of any romantic relationship are made sweeter by the presence of the hormone oxytocin. The body produces ample levels of what is known affectionately as the “love drug” in order to make it easier for people to bond and enjoy each other’s company. Unfortunately, it can also mask reality.

When the love drug has subsided and you’re left with the truth of your arrangement, you want to feel satisfied by the decision you have made. Before rushing into an engagement, now is the perfect time to ask yourself a few key questions about marriage to determine if you are ready for this responsibility. 

What Quirks Will Become Peeves?

Every person has idiosyncratic behaviors and unique habits. When you first meet someone and begin to date, these quirks tend to be endearing. You might find the way your partner eats his food charming, or you may hear your girlfriend’s sudden fits of laughter as melodious. Sadly, these same quirks can easily morph into pet peeves as the years go on. What you found wonderful and charming may soon produce an urge to strangle your significant other in the night. Since you don’t want this kind of frustration, you must address these personality traits.

Think about the specific behaviors or habits of your partner. Try to see how some of them can start to sour or become tired as time moves forward. The goal is not to change your partner, of course. You simply want to consider these personality markers and identify whether or not they will be traits you can live with over the years. You also need to address your own personality quirks. It takes two to tango in a relationship, so don’t simply point the finger at your partner when you’re weighing how much a peeve irritates you.

Do You Want a Family?

Perhaps the biggest question to tackle before getting engaged is whether the person you’re with wants to start a family. This is definitely a deal breaker, but many people ignore the answers they hear. If you ask your partner if he or she wants children and the answer is a solid “no,” it means this is likely always going to be the case. Wanting children and marrying someone who doesn’t is the easiest way to make yourself unhappy. Many differences can be overlooked in a relationship, but this is not one of them.

Talking about starting a family can be awkward in a relationship. Still, you need to discuss this topic honestly and openly. Waiting until after marriage to know how your partner feels about children creates far more trouble than it is worth.

How Will We Be When We Cohabitate? 

Sharing a space with another person is an easy way for tensions to grow. If you’ve never lived with a roommate as an adult, then you don’t want to tie the knot until you know what this kind of arrangement involves. Living with your significant other is the ultimate test of your relationship. You will learn about each other’s daily habits, rituals, and needs. What’s more, you will clearly know whether you should be married to that person. 

Though romance often begins with spontaneity and passion, you must build a stronger foundation before you walk down the aisle. Ask yourself the difficult questions and really think through the details of each answer before you make any big moves for your future.

Category: Marriage

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