Love is not the only force that dictates marriage. While having romantic feelings for your significant other is important, your personalities also need to align in specific ways for things to work. You can disagree all you want when it comes to topics like politics, sports, and music, but there are some areas you really need to agree on. Though these conversations might be difficult, there are some very key discussions you and your significant other need to have before you can commit to the idea of tying the knot.
Give yourself a moment to glance over some of these topics and see if any pertain to your future. The earlier you and your partner talk about these areas of your future, the easier it is going to be for you to feel confident in the relationship.
Married With Children
The biggest topic that needs to be talked about prior to marriage is children. Specifically, you and your partner need to be on the same page in regards to whether or not you want to have children. Most people are set in this. If you want a baby and your partner has absolutely no interest in having a child, you can’t bank on the fact that he or she will have a sudden change of heart. When the answer is no now, it is most likely going to still be no a few years down the line.
It might be painful to go through, but talking out the idea of having children is crucial. Of course, you can disagree in some ways and still be fine moving forward with marriage. If you want three kids and your partner wants two, for example, then this is something that can be talked about down the line. In most cases, partners who have been together for several years will already have a general idea about whether or not their significant others have any interest in starting families.
Huge Life Goals
There are also many smaller discussions you need to have with your partner that will depend largely on your life trajectory. Some people have very big plans for the future. In many cases, these plans involve packing up and moving to another state or country. If you have goals involving drastically changing your life by moving to a new place, then you are going to want to talk about this with your partner. You need to express how serious you are, especially when you feel like your significant other may not be into the idea.
When your partner is very close to his or her family, then he or she might not want to move a great distance away. Without talking about these goals or plans early, you could be creating some seriously difficult decisions down the line. You also need to make sure your partner doesn’t have any large life goals that may interfere with your own, so be sure to have a conversation about all of these plans before getting engaged.
Personal Beliefs
While two people of different religions can easily marry and live happy lives, there are some situations where beliefs will clash. After having kids, you may feel like you have specific values you want instilled in your children and your partner has different values. While this is not necessarily a marriage-ending problem, it is important to talk about specific ethics or morals you and your partner wish to live by and pass along to children.
Talking about specific topics before making the decision to get engaged can be very important for making a marriage work. Though it can be hard to talk about certain things, you’ll feel better, in the long run, if you discuss these important topics with your partner before you say your vows.
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