A wedding usually requires a couple, an officiant, a marriage license, and two witnesses. This celebration can also involve a distinctively crafted ceremony, a reception to offer guests hospitality and gratitude, personalized décor, and other elements that make the event special. However, some couples elect to get married before the big day. It’s not as unusual as it sounds. In fact, tying the knot in private before proclaiming your love before friends and family can offer a few key benefits.
Reasons to Say “I Do” Before the Big Day
Pleasant surprises or unexpected developments may require some creative thinking and problem resolution to make the most of one’s situation. For some couples, that translates to getting married early and then throwing a celebration for family and friends later. You and your partner may elect this course of action for several reasons:
- Obtaining health insurance for both spouses
- Facilitating the purchase of a new home
- Expected military deployment
- Immigration issues resolvable through legal marriage
Bustle writer Caitlin White also explains that getting hitched before your wedding could mitigate some other potentially stressful factors. White suggests that this could help you place minor details into perspective, taking away the typical pressures of designing the “perfect” day and potentially minimizing any family or planning drama. You may also end up spending less, especially since you’ll probably prioritize important details and leave nonessentials by the wayside. Finally, White points out that you and your future spouse will have more time to spend together on the day of your private ceremony.
Important Legal Issues to Consider
Writing for The Spruce, Sheri Stritof divulges that those marrying in private need not obtain a second marriage license before holding a public wedding ceremony at a later date. If you’re getting married in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Colorado, or the District of Columbia, you may even be able to wed without an officiant before your big day. However, it’s a good idea to check local requirements for obtaining a self-solemnizing marriage license before finalizing your plans.
As you mull your options, keep in mind that even private ceremonies will still generate a public record thanks to your marriage license. However, you may be able to wed secretly if you live in Michigan or California. Stritof reveals that Michigan couples can request a secret marriage in which only a judge’s record is maintained and the associated file is sealed. Meanwhile, California offers a confidential marriage license. California law mandates that the two parties must live together as a married couple but requires neither any proof of cohabitation nor witnesses for the marriage certificate.
Should We Tell Others That We’re Already Married?
In a January 2018 Brides article, writer Jaimie Mackey clarifies that you needn’t worry about explaining your situation to your guests. You can choose to simply gloss over the fact that you legally tied the knot before the big day. Mackey also encourages couples to plan their wedding with the traditions and elements they desire. In her article for The Spruce, Stritof recommends that you alert your officiant that you’re married during the planning process. If you’re not letting anyone else know that you’ve already made it legal, you could opt to hold a quick private meeting with the celebrant after your ceremony to give guests the impression that the marriage certificate is being signed.
Although weddings can be community celebrations, they are ultimately expressions of a couple’s love and desire to build meaningful lives together. Tailoring a celebration that fits your logistic and aesthetic needs while reflecting your shared values is a wise move. With smart planning, research on applicable legal issues, and a discrete approach to sharing information, getting married before your wedding day may be the perfect option for you.
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