The loss of a close friend or relative can often be a challenge. While death itself can be difficult to wrap your mind around at times, you may also find yourself overwhelmed with the various tasks and responsibilities related to the funeral. If you’ve been asked to speak at the services, for example, then you might have a sense of dread or anxiety hanging over you as you mourn. While a great honor, being asked to give tribute to someone you care about is also a huge responsibility.
Though an emotional situation, you can easily tackle this job by getting into the right mindset. Bolster your confidence by reviewing these tips on how to put together a fitting tribute.
Write It All Out
No matter how good of a public speaker you consider yourself to be, you should absolutely not assume you can get up on the day of the funeral and just “wing it.” The key to giving a tribute that is deserving of the legacy of the departed is planning ahead. There isn’t usually a lot of time between the person’s death and the services. This means you need to sit down whenever you have a second and write out all your ideas for the speech. You don’t need to have your draft finalized just yet; simply jot down everything.
Include a Personal Story
You have been asked to speak at the services because you likely shared a very deep bond with the person who has passed. This means that there are probably countless stories about your exploits together over the years. In order for your tribute to feel grounded and personal, think about adding a personal story to the speech. Make it a story that captures the essence of the deceased, opting for a memory that highlights the character traits most people knew the person to possess. Whether funny or serious, the story will definitely impact the crowd.
Keep the Speech Brief
Before getting further into the process of creating a tribute, it is important to note that the speech shouldn’t be very lengthy. You don’t want to ramble for too long, especially considering how short funerals tend to be overall. If possible, time yourself delivering the tribute in front of friends or a mirror before the day arrives. This way, you have an actual estimation of the time it will take you to finish. If you find that it is going on too long, make cuts and adjustments early so you can get used to the changes.
Rehearse and Rehearse
Some people are really phenomenal when it comes to committing words to memory. If you’ve graced stages or screens before, you might feel like you can memorize your own speech and deliver it without the need of notecards. However, funerals are very emotional. This, in turn, can cloud your memory and make it difficult to recall your speech without some type of assistance. Keep a copy of the speech near you at all times, even if it is only a digital copy on your phone. This will give you a perfect safety net in the chance you go astray.
Make the Ending Upbeat
As you wrap your tribute up, remember to end on a positive note. Everyone present is totally aware of where they are and that someone they care about is no longer alive. You don’t need to hammer this point. Instead, leave on a lesson imparted by the deceased or an anecdote that brings about smiles and soft chuckles of appreciation. Play around with a few different endings and test them out on friends to see which helps to close out your speech in a way that feels right.
Giving a fitting tribute for the deceased can often be easier said than done. As long as you work on your words and speak from the heart, the rest will flow from you in a natural way.
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