A couple having a serious discussion about the future

For some people, one of the best things about planning a big event is that it is so fabulously distracting. The weeks before a wedding, for example, can get so jam-packed with activities and tasks that there is limited time to discuss important and intimate conversations about your future together. So, in the hope that the idea of a joyous, fulfilling and long marriage is at least as attractive as a spectacular party, the following is a partial checklist of the subjects, besides superhero cufflinks and hotel shuttle arrangements, you and your beloved might want to cover before the big day.


Finances can be a sticking point, and not a topic to allow to take care of itself. Actually, wedding planning can be a fantastic testing ground for all sorts of fiscal exploration. It is a wise idea, as every website will tell you, to set a budget and stick to it. There will be disagreements. Don't be afraid to discuss and work them out! There will be plenty of more like opportunities to come they might not be as festive, but they will come. In the meantime, you may find out some vital information about your fiscal personalities. One of you may be a meticulous bookkeeper, while another has a talent for the big picture and planning.

Buying Property Together

Some couples choose to keep their finances separate, but this gets tricky when you start to think about buying a house. Assuming you both want to own a home together, it is a good idea to devise a plan for saving, and a plan for paying a mortgage once you have signed the papers. Often buying a home can curtail activities that were more easily managed without the responsibility of a mortgage, like an annual snorkeling trip in Hawaii. Decide together when you are ready, or estimate how long you want to wait before socking away some of that vacation cash.


Discussions about children tend to swing between overly organized and utterly romantic. One partner may feel that he or she does not want to consider having children until finances are secure. The other may feel that since no time is ideal, anytime is good, and the details will take care of themselves. Your truth as a couple likely rests somewhere in the middle, and you are going to have to talk your way to it. You do not have to nail down the details of the next 18 to 30 years, but it cannot hurt to imagine how many kids the two of you want, and when you would like to begin to let that happen, if you do.

Holidays With the Families **

While this is a conversation that will continue to happen throughout your life together, it's best to discuss a strategy. Here are some options:

  • Alternate between families and between major holidays. For example, do Thanksgiving with one partner's family, Passover at the other's.
  • After you buy that house, offer to host a big holiday dinner at your own place every other year or so.
  • Keep Valentine's Day and anniversaries just for the two of you.

It may not be a super-popular decision, but consider opting out every once in awhile. This is a tough choice if your families live far away, and count on seeing you at the holidays, but if you enjoy a lot of contact throughout the year, it is okay to celebrate quietly once every so often.

Endless Topics to Discuss

Naturally, there are many more important subjects to discuss with your partner, such as religious convictions and how many corgis you are going to adopt. The important thing is to get into the habit of talking about the big stuff, so it does not grow so big that it becomes hard to talk about.

Category: Get Ordained Wedding Planning


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