An Upset Couple

Making a relationship work takes a lot of effort from both parties involved. Since relationships are universal in many ways, countless people will offer you advice when you are going through a rough patch. Unfortunately, a lot of the tips you receive from other people will be misguided or outright terrible. Knowing which advice to take to heart and which to toss out the window can be tricky. Look over some of these horrible tips that well-intentioned people tend to give, and learn how you can avoid taking the wrong advice on romance.

Make the Person Jealous

The idea that jealously keeps a relationship spicy and passionate is a myth that has been perpetuated endlessly by the media. When you feel like your significant other has been distracted as of late, a friend or coworker might tell you to make him or her jealous in innocent ways. The idea here is to remind your partner of what he or she has in a way that rouses an emotional response. Unfortunately, the response will usually be anger, frustration, or sadness.

Instead of playing middle school games, be direct with your significant other. Have a conversation about why he or she has seemed distracted recently. By addressing the problem in this way, you are more likely to see healthy results instead of devolving into a pointless fight.

Good Connections Are Effortless

Another ridiculous piece of “wisdom” people will try to push is that a relationship requiring a lot of work is not the “right” one. The idea that good relationships are effortless is absurd. All require work and upkeep, whether it be a romantic connection, a friendship, or a family tie. There will definitely be times when things are easy, but assuming that difficult periods are a sign of a failed connection is somewhat immature. If the relationship requires far more work than you are willing to give, however, you should consider what this means.

Don’t Make the First Move

For many people, relationships are games. This is a mindset so many people have that there have been countless books, movies, and television shows about how to manipulate or “win.” A mature relationship should never be treated like a competition. When you and your partner get into a fight and the input you receive from friends is “don’t make the first move,” do not listen. Someone needs to step forward to find a resolution to the fight. If you both wait for the other to make the first move, nothing will get done. 

Be proactive in your relationship. Be aware of how your partner hurt your feelings, but do not be ignorant of your own involvement in the fight. When you understand most spats are resolved quickly when addressed, you will understand why making the first move can be a wise choice. 

Be Distant

After your partner does something to upset you, your natural response might be to shut down. This can involve actively ignoring your significant other, being distant, or giving a cold shoulder. When this response is encouraged by friends or coworkers, it can easily transform into avoidance. Disconnecting is another way of putting your problems on hold so that you can make a spectacle of how your emotions have been hurt. Though it is normal in some cases, falling into this pattern will prevent you from working through relationship issues that need to be addressed.  

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. While it can be healthy to turn to those closest to you when you’re going through a rough patch with your significant other, you need to take advice with a grain of salt. Be discerning, and it will be much easier for you to find what works best for your relationship.

Category: Marriage


Add Your Comment

To post a comment you must log in first.
You may alternatively login with your credentials, below.