Marriage is a big commitment. You need to be completely sure you are ready and that you are marrying the right person. It's a lot easier to break off an engagement than it is to end a marriage, so you should figure this out before the big day. Every couple has disagreements though, so don't assume that just because you and your partner fight, you aren't meant to be. What you need are ways to get over your differences without arguing all the time. While there are some issues you and your spouse may not be able to overcome (such as if one of you does not ever want kids while the other does, or if you two are different religions and can't accept each other), most things can be easily resolved with the right strategies.
Let the Small Stuff Go
While it's important to express your feelings when something isn't going the way you want, it's also important to let the small stuff go. You and your future spouse may disagree on a topic that really isn't that big of a deal. For example, perhaps your spouse has some different political views than you do. This isn't likely to disrupt your marriage. It's okay for you both to want different people as president, or for you both to have differing views on certain political policies. If talking politics only leads to an argument, then you should avoid it. You aren't likely to change each other's minds, so there's not much point.
Hear Each Other Out
One of the most challenging things about getting married is merging two lives into one. There are likely some differences in how you were raised, and while those differences may be big or small, they can be hard to adjust to. When you are talking with your future spouse about how he or she wants to do things after the two of you are married, make sure you listen. You would want your spouse to do the same for you. Make sure you hear him out so you can understand where he is coming from. While you may never fully understand why she insists on doing something a specific way, remember it's important to her. The two of you should make sure you are truly listening to what the other wants.
Take a Breather
When you are dealing with high emotions, it can be difficult to think clearly. This may lead to one or both of you saying things you don't mean. Of course, this can result in hurt feelings and will likely only escalate the situation. When emotions are running high, take a break from the discussion. Both of you should spend some time in different rooms. Take a few deep breaths and regroup. This can help both of you think more clearly. As you calm down, you may have an easier time understanding each other and coming to a resolution.
You Don't Have to Win
We all have an innate desire to win arguments, even if we aren't right. Of course, it can be difficult to see when we are right or wrong in a debate. Remember, you don't have to win every argument. The entire goal is to get to a resolution you both can accept. If you both are trying to be right all the time, problems are going to be hard to solve.
Remember that being different from your spouse is a good thing. Otherwise, life would be incredibly boring. Just make sure you handle your differences the right way:
- Be accepting of one another.
- Don't let fights escalate.
- Try to see the other person's side.
These things should help reduce the duration and severity of your arguments.
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