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Your wedding day is a memorable event. You and your significant other will likely be telling stories about it for years to come. You want those memories to make you smile, not cringe, though. One way to ensure that the day will go smoothly is by choosing an amazing friend or loved one to stand next to you as you say, "I do." Contrary to popular belief, the obvious choice isn't always the best one.

Create a Responsibilities Checklist

Your best friend may be the person you turn to whenever you have news to share. There's a lot more than loyalty and good listening that goes into being your primary attendant at the wedding, though. 

Think about the help you will need through every stage of planning and running the ceremony and reception make a list of all the things you expect your attendant to do:

  • Assist with decisions and wedding prep
  • Manage the rest of the wedding party
  • Plan the pre-wedding bash to celebrate your last night as a single person
  • Be your main support on the big day
  • Deliver a toast at the reception

Being part of the wedding party is a lot of work, especially for the primary attendant. This is the person in charge of making sure every detail on your to-do list is covered so that you don't become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the tasks that you must complete. He or she needs to be dependable and excited about celebrating with you so that you don't have to worry about having to pick out your wedding attire or keep a record of the gifts you receive all by yourself.

Most of all, the best person for the job of primary attendant is going to be someone who remembers that your wedding is all about you at every step of the process. If two of your bridesmaids don't get along, your maid of honor needs to be able to mediate and resolve the issue so that you don't have to deal with the drama. Your best man needs to be someone who will be witty and charming during his speech rather than using it as an opportunity to practice his own stand-up routine or tell inappropriate stories. Your lead attendant should want your day to be everything you dreamed it would be and more.

Think About Who Knows You Best

Organizational skills may be a vital part of your attendant's qualifications but don't underestimate the importance of interpersonal factors. People who know you well are more likely to recognize when you are feeling stressed or upset about something, and that's who you want by your side on one of the most important days of your life. Also, it will simply mean more to share all the behind-the-scenes moments with a close friend rather than an acquaintance who is an excellent event planner.

It's also a good idea for the person you choose to be familiar with those who are closest to you, particularly if they are involved in the ceremony or reception. At some point during the day, your primary attendant is probably going to have to direct family members or friends to do something, and those conversations will be easier if they aren't meeting each other for the first time that day.

Picking the right person to be your personal attendant at the wedding is no small feat. The leader of your wedding party has a lot of responsibilities, and you want to make sure he or she is up to the task. Choose someone who is committed to ensuring that the memories you make will be amazing.

Category: Wedding Planning

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