Dealing with the loss of someone close to you can come as a debilitating shock. While it can be difficult to go through this period yourself, it can be even more upsetting to watch someone you care about struggle with the death of a friend or family member. Mourning is a universal trait in human beings, but everyone goes through the process in a different way. If you are trying to help someone you care about get through the difficult time after a death, it can be helpful to have some guidance.
Though loss is always going to take a toll on the spirits, having a good friend around can help to provide a person with the confidence and support required to move forward. Here are a few simple tips to keep in mind to help you assist friends and family members through a period of mourning.
Discuss the Present
Death can be uncomfortable for many people. Though it is a natural part of life, there are millions of people around the world who do not know how to handle the topic of death. If you are someone who feels uneasy around death, it can be difficult for you to show your sympathy to loved ones in an earnest way. Luckily, this is an issue plenty of people run into while trying to help friends and close relations. The easiest way to show you are there and willing to help is by acknowledging the loss and listening.
The absolute worst thing you can do when someone is mourning is act as if the situation is not a big deal or try to actively push someone through their mourning at a faster pace. Instead of trying to take an active role in helping, you want to simply be there for your friend. Acknowledge their emotions and listen to them talk about the departed. Having someone there to listen and converse about the deceased will help the healing process begin.
Understand There is No Time Limit
Another important fact to remember about grieving is there is no timeline for how long it lasts. There are several ranges given by experts on what is considered to be an average period of mourning, but it will be entirely unique for each person. It will depend entirely on the connection between the person and the departed, how long they had known each other, the mental state of the person going through the mourning process, and a number of other factors.
You are not going to want to speed up the process. Instead, you can compensate through each and every step. For example, if your friend is not willing to talk about the deceased at first, do not force them. Simply be there until the time comes when he or she is ready to talk. Once the time comes, listen and respond in a helpful way. As your friend moves into the next stage of grief, be ready to be actively present for whatever the next step of the process will be.
Forgive Erratic Behavior
Some people have a very difficult time with death. The loss of someone important can trigger a plethora of complicated and intense emotions. If you notice your loved one is acting out, is prone to sudden bursts of anger, or is generally confused about basic facts or memories, then it is most likely associated with the conflicted emotions surrounding grief. Understand the outbursts and attacks are not personal. If you get upset by something that was said, put it aside and know it is coming from a place of deep sorrow.
If someone you care about has recently lost a friend or relative, it is important for you to be there for this person. Forgive intense emotional outbursts, understand there is no strict timeline to the process, and be there in every way you can. Having a good friend nearby while mourning can do wonders for an aching heart.
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