Getting married can be stressful for plenty of reasons. However, one of the more complicated reasons for anxiety is that couples often struggle with questions of etiquette. While weddings have been viewed as formal events in most respects for a long while now, the rules and traditions surrounding these celebrations have shifted in recent years. Still, understanding the ins and outs of some basic etiquette concerns can provide you with both insight and peace of mind. Take a look at these points and see how to handle a variety of scenarios.
The RSVP Problem
To kick this list off, let’s focus on RSVPs. Guests tend to push the patience of a couple when it comes to this small part of the planning process. You need to know how many people to expect for your wedding by a certain date to finalize the arrangements with your venue, caterer, and seating chart. Sadly, trying to get some people to give you a concrete answer can be next to impossible. When it comes to proper etiquette, there are a few ways you can go about things.
Since you’re giving strict instructions and a deadline with your invitations, you have the right to make a hard cutoff point. Unfortunately, some of the people who are late to reply might be very close family members and friends. As a rule of thumb, provide a response date that gives you some flexibility. This way, you can still offer seats to the people who dragged their feet on getting back to you. In some extreme cases, you might even want to call the people you haven’t heard from before the deadline to get a direct answer.
The Gift Issue
Asking for gifts can feel awkward no matter how you approach the topic. Even though it is very common for couples to receive presents from family and friends during their nuptials, making specific requests can feel like a snub of sorts. However, there’s nothing wrong with being direct with how you go about asking for gifts. If you want only cash, for example, be sure to note this on the invites. However, you might find it best to use friendly wording. Saying “If the guests wish to offer gifts, monetary presents are preferred” is better than a blunt “cash only.”
The Specific Concerns
Every family or friend group has a few people who can be difficult to deal with in certain circumstances. Whether you have a friend who doesn’t know how to handle her liquor or a cousin who goes on political rants any chance he gets, addressing some qualms in advance might be your best bet. Again, this is where language will be very useful. Touch base with anyone you think might be volatile at your event and have a calm discussion about whatever is bothering you. There is no proper etiquette here, as it comes down to the scenario’s specifics.
The “You” Factor
Not all etiquette concerns are directed at guests. In fact, you might need to keep a few points in mind. You’re likely going to have a number of people decline your invitation based on reasons that seem both understandable and ridiculous. Though you might find it difficult to not take it personally, you need to remember that this isn’t a direct attack on you. Emotions run high when people plan big events, so plenty of your immediate reactions may be over the top in nature. Let yourself process things and you’ll likely feel level and focused.
Though etiquette can be helpful to keep in mind when going through certain wedding tasks, there is no one way to go about smoothing over a difficult situation. Approach any concerns from a variety of angles to find a resolution that feels right.
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