Although your wedding can reflect your personalities, values, and aesthetics, planning it may require a bit of a juggling act. After all, you aren’t just trying to balance both yours and your partner’s desires. You’re also probably trying to consider the wishes of friends and family members, especially those participating in the ceremony and reception. Successfully achieving that balance can be a challenge, but it’s not impossible if you observe some sound advice.
Avoid Sweating the Small Stuff
It’ easy to feel as if every little thing about your wedding must be picture-perfect. Sharon Naylor of Bridal Guide warns the soon-to-be-wed against obsessing over the details, which can come with negative aftereffects such as sacrificing work productivity to plan, oversharing on social media, restricting your friends’ choices for their weddings, or having nightmares about your event. Meanwhile, Brides contributor Lea Rose Emery helps put things into perspective in a January 2018 article, offering several key observations of her own:
- Pulling off a perfect wedding is impossible.
- Laughing at minor slip-ups can relieve stress.
- Marriage isn’t perfect.
As Emery points out, focusing too much on specifics and insisting that every single one goes according to plan can rob you of the ability to enjoy yourself. Instead, accepting that something may go wrong can reduce your anxiety and enable you to take care of problems when they arise.
Don’t Forget About the People Involved
In her January 2018 Brides article, Emery concludes that the most important focus of a wedding should be on people. This may seem like an obvious point, given that you and your future spouse will be publicly declaring your shared love and commitment to each other before your community. However, this also holds true if you’ve invited close friends and family to be part of your wedding party or to participate in other ways, such as performing music or giving readings during the ceremony.
While your event should revolve around your overall vision, it’s also a good idea to be willing to compromise if it may help your loved ones feel more comfortable. For example, a common sticking point is wedding party apparel. Multiple episodes of Bustle’s online series “Bridesmaid Upgrade” demonstrate that one style does not fit all, so offering flexibility with attire styles and color palettes is a simple way to let your attendants be happy with what they wear. If you have multiple musicians and readers and one of your participants isn’t thrilled with a particular selection, consider swapping it with someone else’s or try to find alternatives that express a similar message.
Be Gentle With Yourself
As you steer clear of making unreasonable demands of your friends and family, it’s also wise to avoid placing them upon yourself. A few unconventional planning tactics may aid you in cutting back your stress levels. You’ve likely heard the recommendation to set a budget and stick to a timeline. Even so, Loverly writer Amanda Chatel proposes more relaxed strategies for organizing and financing your big day, such as simply paying what you can afford for various items and booking vendors as you’re able. She also advises limiting your planning activities to a couple of days per week to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Weddings are both personal and community events. While you want to prioritize your vision for your special day, it’s also wise to stay focused on reality and ensure you don’t accidentally alienate friends and loved ones. It’s also important to evade the trap of perfectionism, and your planning methods and schedule should also fit well with your lifestyle. Adopting an openminded, flexible approach can help you avoid fixating on minor details, overexerting yourself, and pushing away the people you care about most.
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