If your spouse has recently passed away, you are likely feeling overwhelming grief. You may be wondering how you are supposed to go on when the person whom you have spent most of your life with is no longer on this earth. Losing your spouse is one of the hardest things you will go through. It can be difficult picking up the pieces and moving on. There are things you can do to make the process slightly easier, but no matter what, it's going to be a challenging road. Here are some things to do when you are trying to move on past the death of your spouse.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Some people make the mistake of ignoring their feelings. They may try to make themselves so busy that they don't have time to feel the emotions buried deep down. However, this is not a healthy approach. No matter what, you are going to experience these feelings eventually, and it's best to get them out sooner rather than later. While you will always have some sadness when you think about your late spouse, the feelings of shock and denial will pass. Letting yourself experience these emotions is an important part of the healing process. If you are religious, perhaps you can find some comfort in the fact that you will see him or her again in the afterlife. If not, you can relish the time you had together and remember the good times.
Give Yourself Time
Many people make the mistake of thinking that grief is on a clean timetable. For this reason, they may think there is only an acceptable period of time to grieve the loss of a loved one. However, this simply isn't the case. First of all, you will likely be grieving in some form for the rest of your life. The level of grief is likely to decrease, but you are never going to be completely over the death of your spouse.
For another, it takes people different amounts of time to get through the grieving process. Taking less time or more time to go through the experience does not mean you are a weak person. Try hard not to compare yourself to friends or others who have gone through the same thing.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you are going to have hard days. You may have a week where you feel pretty good, and then all of a sudden, the grief just hits you. This is normal. Try to give yourself a grace period and explain to others about the grieving process so they can give you what you need. Some of the normal feelings may include:
- Denial
- Anger
- Depression
- Loneliness
Lean on Others
Dealing with a loss is much more difficult when you are going through it on your own. Because of this, it is important to lean on those around you who are giving you love and support. Many people will likely tell you to let them know if there is anything they can do. Take advantage of this. Ask your friend if he or she could come over for a cup of coffee on a day you are feeling particularly lonely. Ask someone if he or she would be willing to bring you a meal because you just don't feel up to cooking. It's important to let yourself lean on people during this time so that you can develop those relationships as well as heal more quickly.
Losing your spouse is an incredibly hard thing to go through. For this reason, it's important to be easy on yourself. Let yourself feel emotions and don't put yourself on a schedule to feel your grief. Finally, let others be there for you when you need support. These things can help make the grieving process a little bit easier.
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