00518807-001](/assets/getordained/blog/scaled/dad-frets-mom-holds-baby.jpg){.alignleft .size-medium .wp-image-1553 width=300 height=200}As soon as you get married, it seems that all of the personal aspects of your life become everyone's business. This is especially true when it comes to when the two of you are going to start having children. For some reason, many people expect newlyweds to immediately start trying for children. Hearing people ask you when you are going to have kids over and over can be irritating when you have no plans to start a family anytime soon. But what happens if you are thinking about trying for a family as soon as you get married? Perhaps you are already pregnant at your wedding ceremony.
Bringing a baby into the world can be one of the greatest things you will ever experience, but it also changes things dramatically. For this reason, it's important to know what to expect if you are about to have a baby or if having a child is something you and your spouse are considering.
Everything Changes
Some people have the idea that having a baby doesn't change much, other than the fact that you will be bringing a baby along with you everywhere you go. However, this isn't true. Your baby is going to have a schedule outside of anything you have ever experienced. Think you were exhausted studying for those finals in college? That's nothing compared to the exhaustion you will feel taking care of your sweet new baby. You will be tired, you will be more antisocial at first, and you probably won't want to be bothered too much. The good news is, everyone will understand and expect this. Babies and adults have very different schedules, and it can take some time to adjust.
Less Time for Intimacy
Once a baby is born, intimacy is going to go out the window for a while. Both of you will be exhausted, and you aren't going to have as much time to spend together. Most of your bonding moments will be with your baby. A baby's schedule requires a lot, and even though a newborn sleeps about 18 hours a day, most of this is broken up, making it hard for you to get the sleep you need. While baby is awake, he or she is going to need to be fed, burped, changed, and loved on. Once the baby is in bed, the two of you will probably be so exhausted that all you will want to do is sleep.
An Incredible New Bond
Despite all of the stress and exhaustion that comes from bringing a newborn home from the hospital, you and your partner will likely experience an entirely new bond. There's something incredibly special about having a child with someone and seeing a person who is the perfect combination of the two of you. You might notice baby has dad's eyes but mom's dark hair. This can help bring your relationship to a whole new level.
Getting through the stress is the most important part of making sure that your relationship doesn't suffer too much. There are a few ways you can do this:
- Give each other a little extra grace and understanding. You are both tired, so you may be a little snappier with each other.
- Try to find time to spend together, even if it's just for a few minutes. Once the baby is down for a nap or laying happily in the swing, spend a few minutes cuddling or talking.
- Remember to love your spouse, too. It can be tempting to give your newborn all of your attention, but your marriage needs to be nurtured, too.
Having a baby is going to change your marriage and your life in ways you never might have dreamed. However, it is all worth it.
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