Bridal showers have been a common wedding tradition for a little over a century, but changes in our social landscape warrant new modern interpretations of this custom. For same-gender couples or engaged pairs who want a fun party without the gender roles, a coed shower may be an ideal alternative. Planning these events requires a slightly different approach, but you’ll create a fun and memorable affair for everyone involved.
The Origins of the Bridal Shower
Where did the bridal shower originate? It depends on who you ask. Huffington Post writer Wendy Litner recounts a story from 19th century Belgium, in which a group of townspeople collaborated to help out a young woman from an upper-class family. Her father refused to provide a dowry because she was marrying a man from a lower social class, so the locals showered her with gifts instead. Some insist that it comes from the “hope chest” custom in which brides collected items to take to their new homes. In their book “Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding,” authors Cele C. Otnes and Elizabeth H. Peck claim that bridal showers became popular in American cities during the 1890s and spread to smaller communities by the 1930s.
Some Great Alternative Party Ideas
Given the origins of the classic bridal shower, you may determine that a different kind of celebration is more to your friends’ liking. Thankfully, Gay Weddings contributor Whitney Teal has a few great suggestions:
- A “bro-dal” shower, complete with a theme, decorations, food choices, and games
- Couples’ showers, which stylistically resemble upscale lunches or dinner parties
- Laid-back outings or backyard bashes that include gift exchanges
- A cocktail reception for you, your closest family, and your wedding party
Your coed get-together should incorporate some elements that make it fun for everyone attending. The Knot offers a host of other thematic possibilities, ranging from beach and pool parties to sporty shindigs to international cuisine–themed events. Whatever you decide, it’s wise to choose a motif that the happy couple and friends will love. If that means their shower is a chili cookoff or an evening of classy cocktails or a nerdy night of gaming, it’s your call as the host to make it so.
Planning Tips for Your Event
Once you’ve figured out the kind of party you should throw, you’ll need to engage in some careful planning to pull the details together. Fortunately, Wedding Wire writer Anne Chertoff offers some essential tips to help you create an unforgettable affair:
- Honor your friends’ preferences and keep the guest list manageable.
- Make sure you don’t create a gender-exclusive guest list.
- Choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate your invitees.
- Select activities appropriate for your crowd, or you can opt to forgo “shower games” altogether.
Chertoff also recommends that the host ask guests to bring their gifts either unwrapped or dressed in clear wrapping paper. This will allow the couple to focus more on spending quality time with their closest associates as opposed to worrying about unwrapping presents. She also suggests gifting guests with party favors, which you can customize to fit your event’s theme. Don’t forget that you can send invitees home with fabulous edibles such as chocolate, cookies, or miniature gourmet treats.
Wedding Showers for the 21st Century
Traditional showers are perfect for some couples, but your end goal is to host a party that your soon-to-be-married loved ones will appreciate. Thinking outside the box can lead to fabulous ideas, and you may decide that a coed or nontraditional shower is a better fit for your friends. Select a theme that complements their personalities, ensure the guest list is gender inclusive, pick an appropriate venue, and focus more on the experience than on the gift-giving. Following these tips should result in an event they’ll truly enjoy.
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