His Holiness Doctor C

Dearly beloved.

Let me enlighten you, from the pulpit, as to what I can bring to your ceremony. I'll marry anyone to anything. Exorcize your daemons and whatever else is bothering you. You want to get married to WHAT? No problem, I'll see what I can do. I'm certified in a number of things (I am indeed a genuine doctor) and yes, I do wear a dog-collar, stole and all the other tomfoolery.

You can have it traditional (candles, incense, hymns and such), naked, in ultra-violet light, riding a pig or in a mud pit. As a bonus for cash-only payments, I can officiate at your ceremony in a wholly intoxicated state. Ever been married, buried, blessed or whatever by a drunken padre? Let me be your first. As a functional alcoholic, perpetually 'in his cups' I excel at this!

Just drop me a line and I'm sure we can work something out.

His Holiness, Minister Doctor C.