Soph

Do you want someone who will probably show up to your wedding in bedazzled cowgirl boots and a vest that reads "legend" on the back? Well, I really hate to break it to you, but I am your girl. My name is Sophia and I have never taken anything seriously in my life because that is how I cope. However, I will take your marriage seriously because it is yours and therefore it is important. Will it be the most holy of ceremonies? No. But will it be the most laid-back? Perhaps yes. With your permission, I will tastefully do half of the ceremony in song. Yes, I will have you read your vows while I do a dance number reminiscent of Damon's audition for The New School in the hit FX program, POSE. We will have a lot of fun. Do you want me to point to your grandma four or five times during the ceremony? Hey, I'll do it, and for no extra cost! Do you secretly dislike your partner? We've all been there! I will stop the ceremony in the middle break the news to your partner that your entire relationship has been an episode of Impractical Jokers, and your real name is Sal. See my versatility! You can pay me in cash, or in those wafer cookies that are orange. I love the movie Life as We Know It, and it would be my distinct pleasure to officiate your wedding. WARNING: If you are not a dear friend, or relative, I most likely will not agree to do your wedding. Please, if you are looking for someone serious to officiate, then I implore you to direct all marriage inquiries at a REAL, FUNCTIONING, human person.